Telling my Gran I was getting married to a woman was going to be the biggest mountain I'd ever conquered. My grandparents are strong Irish Catholics, and this wasn't going to go down too well but in saying that, My gran has been remarkable in the way she's handled my sexuality. My Grandad would never know the truth though. He's too set in his ways and at the age of 92 and completely blind, I think he still thinks he's living in the 1950's, with it's strict morals and typical masculine domination. He would never understand or accept it. ever. I was a sinner committing a terrible sin. My Nan has always been the more compassionate one. She's my rock. Always understanding, so I knew I had to tell her I was Gay. She wasn't best pleased at first. I can't blame her. I told her on Easter Sunday 2010. We were all incredibly drunk and I pulled my gran into the dining room and told her I was gay. I told her how I hated men and the thought of intimacy with them made my skin crawl and the fact that I'd fell in love with an amazing woman. Who made me feel special, loved and cared for. She gave me a disapproving look and told me she could never accept it. I was hurt but I had to understand where she was coming from. I respected her beliefs and her religion for she was brought up with it. Nothing would change her mind.
The day after that conversation, I rang my Nan. The tone of her voice said it all. She was disgusted. She hardly said two words to me. We usually have a very close relationship but this phone call made everything change. It was different. I felt sick and nervous. The last thing I wanted was for us not to be talking. I couldn't handle that. I loved her so much and she had a huge part in my growing up. A second mother really. I put it to the back of my mind and swore to myself I was going to behave as normal, laughing and joking and prove to her that although my sexuality is somewhat different to what she would expect, I am still the same sill, funny girl that loves to be around her grandparents. It took a long time for her to fully accept me for who I am and to respect my partner. It's taken time and gentle conversations to help her to feel more comfortable about it. It was only been in the last two years that she has fully understood how much I need Davina. My Nan understands the support and love she brings to me, that she is my best friend and someone I want to share everything with. When my Nan took a bad fall in March 2012, I think it made her realize how short life is. That you could face it tomorrow or the day after and never have the chance to make amends with someone. She now talks to me and Davina as a couple. She laughs about the silly things we do at home or if she says something like "Do the cats sleep in with you's?", meaning together (with you both) not realizing that my Grandad is sitting at the other side of the room. She'd laugh so hard then change it to "In with youuuu, Louise"! My Nan is finally happy for me and she knows I have a loving person by my side each day.
She has grown to love Davina and appreciates the fact we don't rub our sexuality in her face. She respects us now for entirely what we are. Two loving people who care about each other very much and who only want the best for each other. It's now got to the point that she laughs about the fact my surname will be changed and who I'm inviting to the wedding! As much as my Nan loves me, She has a strong catholic belief that she has lived with for 92 years. She will never come to our wedding, but gives us her blessing. That is enough for me. I respect my Gran far too much and I am so thankful that she respects me for who I am. Even if my Grandad is completely in the dark! I have never ever mentioned a boyfriend to my Grandad. He has never known me to "Court" anyone in my whole adult life. He must think I'm some kind of celibate spinster. If only he knew the truth. Part of me deep down thinks that he does already...
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